If your sex life is idling, you’re not alone. Whether you’re faced with a sex drought that would put the 1950s Texas drought to shame, or if your sex life just needs a little boost, there are plenty of small things that you can do to get it back on track.
We’ve compiled a list of tips from professionals that have been proven to help couples improve their sex lives. Without further ado, here are some quick tips to reignite the passion.
1) Talk about sex
Open communication about sex is incredibly essential to having a satisfying relationship and sex life, according to Psychology Today. Not only does it bring you closer as a couple, but by creating a safe and non-judgmental space to talk about sex, you open the floor to finding out about potential fantasies or preferences your partner may have in relation to sex that you two may not have explored yet.
Also, while carving time out for sex may make it sound like a chore, it’s an effective way to make sure you’re prioritizing your sex life as a couple – and just like when you first started dating, a lot of the excitement of sex derives from the anticipation. In a busy week, planning and talking about sex turns it into this stress-busting, pleasure-inducing event you simply cannot wait to attend.
2) Eat healthy and exercise
While sex is usually categorized as an art or an indulgence, we often forget that sex is actually a very important part of our physical health. Plenty of studies show that those who eat healthy and exercise have better sex lives than their couch potato friends, and this is for a variety of reasons. Exercise has been shown to lower the risk of erectile dysfunction, increase sexual desire and arousal and helps to increase confidence, which translates positively in the bedroom. Meanwhile, a healthy diet can strengthen your immune system, lower blood pressure and trigger the release of dopamine – the chemical substances in the brain responsible for happy, relaxed and sensual feelings – which sets the stage for greater sex.
3) Do activities together
Doing activities together strengthens your emotional connection, while having a partner’s support increases desire. Doing a new activity that neither of you have ever tried before also leads to feelings of nervousness and excitement, which can mimic the feelings you felt at the beginning of the relationship and help to reignite the flame. Depending on how adventurous you two are as a couple, a new activity could be anything from going on a hike to going skydiving – either way, the dopamine that is unleashed will help recreate the feelings from the honeymoon phase of your relationship. The increased intimacy and bonding built from spending time together doing activities outside of the bedroom will lead to better sex behind closed doors.
4) Prioritize foreplay
In the hustle and bustle of a busy week, foreplay can often be rushed or forgone altogether. While quickies are great in moderation, if they become a regular thing, you’ll find that sex becomes more of a fast-food quick fix rather than an 8-course meal meant to be savored and enjoyed. By having your partner completely focused on your pleasure and vice versa, it makes for more connected, sensual sex and more powerful orgasms. Keep in mind that we have tons of erogenous zones, and they’re not all below the waist. Experimenting with body parts and new toys can improve your sex life tenfold overnight. Bringing in some unique, fun toys such as strapless strapons or nipple clamps can help up the excitement and the stimulation, both for the body and for the senses. The ways to enjoy foreplay are infinite, so make sure it remains a valuable part of your sex lives.
5) Change the location
If your sex life is victim to routine and familiarity, changing up the location is a great way to add some variety to the mix, and to encourage you to try new things. If you always have sex in the same bedroom, your brain will naturally default to the same moves and rhythm that you and your partner are used to. If you decide to move the fun to the living room, or better yet, to a different city for a weekend trip, the excitement of a new environment may make you more daring and adventurous. Try to work the unique environment into the sex, as well – if there’s a bathtub in your hotel while your home only has standing showers, run a bath with some flower petals and have some sensual bathtub sex. The change of scenery is sure to get your creative juices flowing, and depending on the location –hello, backseat of the car– you two may feel naughtier than usual, giving you that extra sizzle that you crave.
6) Include non-sexual touch in your day
Non-sexual touch is often overlooked by couples when discussing the quality of their sexual chemistry. While passion and heat will fluctuate depending on life events and stages, romance should be kept alive throughout the entire relationship. This intimacy builds over time and stays solid by maintaining small, non-sexual touches in your everyday routine. Kiss your partner before leaving for work, hold hands as you walk down the street, and massage their shoulders a bit when you catch them making coffee in the kitchen. These micro-details can make all the difference in the bedroom, as they subconsciously keep you connected to your partner intimately, even when you’re not having sex.
7) Communicate about unresolved problems
The longer you’ve been together as a couple, the easier it gets to take the other person for granted. Tuning into your partner fully and taking the time to reconnect will improve your sex life drastically, especially if you have unresolved issues or resentment. Even if there aren’t any pre-existing hard feelings, talking to your partner daily about how they’re feeling will keep your bond strong, and translate into more fulfilling and connected time in the bedroom.