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Find Your Clique



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This may be the hardest task I’ve asked you to do. It means you may have to distance yourself from certain people in your life, and that is never easy. It will be really difficult for you to achieve your financial goals if you hang out with a group of people who don’t have the same vision as you do; to become financially independent. Or maybe they really do have more money than you do, and frivolous spending is not a concern at this time.

You will get invited to things that you will be forced to say ‘no’ to. It will be extremely difficult at first and you will feel isolated, because after a while, you’ll stop getting invited unless you are honest with people about the reasons why you can’t attend. Saying ‘no’ all the time without a proper explanation will certainly get your gay card taken away.

What I challenge you to do if change the mindset of some of your closest friends. Have an open and honest conversation with this group and let them know what your intentions are and that you are trying to save for the future. If they care about you at all, they will understand. Some may even join you on your journey of frugayity. Invite your inner circle over to your house for dinner or cocktails one evening and explain to them what you are doing. You will be surprised how many people will support you and how many may join you.

The ultimate goal in having this candid conversation is to find not only a support system, but a sub-group of friends who actually want to live this way as well. You will be able to share stories, challenges and triumphs as well as keep each other accountable…sort of like a gym buddy. I think you may find the journey easier and more fun with a friend by your side.

Joey Amato is the publisher of Frugayity, a personal finance advice website geared towards helping the LGBTQ community live a more frugal life and save for the future. Amato has been in LGBTQ media for over a decade, having published his own lifestyle magazine UNITE in Nashville and Indianapolis. He is also the publisher of Pride Journeys, a syndicated LGBTQ travel column and website. For more information, visit

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january 2022