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Mental Health

How to Stop Being Insecure and Build Self-Esteem



Life is too short to be hiding from the world and to feel bad about who you really are. Insecurity about your physical looks, personality, social status, or anything else for that matter is just an enormous pressure you put onto yourself that keeps you from enjoying life fully.

Building self-esteem is the key to opening yourself to others and opportunities, and here is how you can do it.

1. Fight perfectionism

Perfectionism is what can get you in trouble. Nobody is perfect, and striving to achieve perfection will only make you feel sad and angry at yourself.

So, the first thing to do is to evaluate yourself based on how much effort you put into something, not on what the outcome is. Self-esteem is a lot about being aware that you are doing everything you can and that it’s alright then.

Secondly, you need to start taking the circumstances into account every time you start criticizing yourself about something. Circumstances are not something anybody can control and they affect us all.

Perfectionism creates conditional self-esteem, which means you only feel great and strong when everything goes according to the plan. Otherwise, you blame it all on yourself. You should work on feeling good about yourself because you know you did everything you could.

2. Eliminate those who belittle you

There will always be people who will try to take advantage of your insecurities and who will ridicule you for them. You need to realize that it’s just who they are and those true colors of theirs are not something you need in your life. Bullying can leave enormous scars on a person and you need to protect yourself from that.

Don’t hesitate to break all ties with people who made you feel bad about yourself. You can only gain by them being out of your life.

3. Use logic and balance emotions

When you feel insecure about something, whether it’s triggered by your physical look, personality traits, or anything else at all, it’s important to use logic to fight the feeling of insecurity.

So, if you feel bad about a specific physical trait of yours, you first need to use logic to identify what the options are that could help you solve the issue. For example, if you feel insecure because of your crooked teeth, then you should consider wearing dental braces for a while. This includes visits to the dentist and special treatment of your teeth, so in a way, you should create a plan that will help you remove the issue that creates your insecurity.

Sticking to a plan will help you cope with fear and anxiety every time you need to visit the dentist. This is also the moment where you need to learn to balance your emotions. It’s ok to feel anxious about the visit but you mustn’t allow negative emotions to overwhelm you and prevent you from actually going to the dentist. It’s important to recognize and accept your negative emotions as completely understandable but that’s it. You need to control them so that they don’t control you and block you from achieving what you want.

4. Accept that some things can’t be changed

Sometimes, no matter how much you try, you will not have the body shape you want, you won’t achieve a certain financial status or you won’t get the job you desire.

It’s very important you accept your limits, just like any other human being on the planet. The simple truth is – you don’t need all of those things to be truly happy. You can be perfectly happy with a few extra pounds or whatever it is that makes you feel insecure right now. You need to learn to stop caring at some point because, no matter what you believe now, it is an option as well.

Final words

Building self-esteem takes time and fighting our insecurities can be a tough road. But it doesn’t mean it’s unachievable. You just need to make the first step – today.

Sarah Jessica Smith is a young blogger from Sydney. She is in love with life and all the things that can make her daily routine easier. She loves to write about home improvement, lifestyle, and all the small things that make life such a great adventure.

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october 2021